Article to share about Life and its tragedies and how we see our own.

I’ve been pouting and crying about a few things lately.

Then I read this article today and thought, “Nope. Now this is Life. And perspective is the secret ingredient we are sometimes unwilling to taste.”

I’ve been pouting less after reading the article, not because this story feels and reads as sadder than my own, but because it was a humble yet blunt reminder that we are all going through stuff all the time. We are all in need of a kick in the ass sometimes to help us not hinder ourselves by drowning in our own self-pity and wallowing. Even though we all must grieve at some point, how we grieve and what we do with that grief is the difference. Grieving the “couldawouldashoulda” moments are a waste of time – hard to let go of, yes – but a waste of precious time. Again, please click the link above to read the article. Worth it.

Saturday morning coffee.

The links I share are likely not the most interesting, as far as Pinterest or light Facebook sharing goes, but I can promise substance. The world – online and off – has become this place of hyper-sharing low-grade information to block our minds. I’m calling it out in my own life.

Here are some items I thought had a little more substance than the average bullshit meme…happy thinking this morning.

Study says American kids are losing their creativity.

Cancer is cured in Canada…nobody said a thing.

If you don’t lose, you can’t win. It’s math.

Women talking about being human; a good web series.

A link that has made so many rounds on the internet it must be dizzy…5 regrets of the dying.

And a quote, credited to Aristotle, that sums up my one desire right now, at 32: “Where your talents and the needs of the world cross, there lies your vocation.”

-sandy.

Silly humans and the Reminiscence Bump

People are the strangest, don’t you think?

All these feelings and moods and memories and ideas to contend with, messing up things like productivity, schedules and – my favorite – peace of mind. It’s enough to drive you crazy.

As Nature would have it (I wave my fists at you, Nature!) all of these inconveniences are also what makes life interesting. They’re also what sets us apart from fire ants and peacocks, so.

I’m doing some research right now, on nostalgia and it’s hold on us, and came across the most interesting thing called the “Reminiscence Bump” in an article from New York Magazine called, “Why You Truly Never Leave High School.”

Basically, The Rem Bump (as I call it for short, since I’m soooo well versed now, thanks Wikipedia) is the period of life we reflect on the most as we age; the age range on which we reflect typically ranges from ages 10 to 30, although research suggests that, as we age, we get most nostalgic about the span of time between age 15 and 25.

I’d have to half agree with that right there. I can be nostalgic at times (the “old days” make the best stories, I think) but which period of my life I reminisce about the most varies, depending on what I’m longing for in that moment: my grandmother’s sweet bread, my grandfather’s laugh, my first best friend, ever, Janine. All of those memories come from different times in my life, the last one about Janine as early as four years old (the age I am in the photo above).

The point is, when it comes to memories, I don’t find myself fixated on any one age (do you?) although I would admit that the period between 15 and 25 was intense for me: change, hormones, decisions, ups and downs. But it was also a time of great growth and development, peppered in with a few regrets for good measure, of which I like to reflect on now to learn from.

Is that nostalgic or just studying your past behavior?

I’m doing my best to stay focused and moving forward though, since I’ve learned lately that trying to go back in time is really a fruitless task. So even though I visit there sometimes, I rarely stay long.

(P.s. – cool stuff for morons stuck in the past.)

-sandy.

City expansion, Toronto restaurants, Condos, Sucking it up, Eat!

For the past couple of years, there have been some serious concerns around Toronto’s vertically growing skyline. I’m really 50/50 on the whole thing, but if I had to choose, I’d lean to the negative on this one, too. But I have no idea why. What’s wrong with expansion, right?

Only, try living in rapid expansion. The city is a monster-sized construction site with bad traffic diversions and once 20-minute commutes to work turning into 60- minute commutes almost overnight. The traffic was such a point of stress for me that I did the (finally) smart thing and sold my car last year. My stress has reduced dramatically, truthfully, just from eliminating driving on Toronto’s roads every day. Call me crazy (really, go ahead) but I’m just sharing a useful stress-reduction tip here: sell your fucking car.

Traffic makes for bad attitudes, no matter how you slice it. Mix that in with cold weather, a late spring, soaring housing prices, expensive food, astronomical childcare fees, spiking tuition, and an overall reduced number of jobs for new grads, and ya, you bet Torontonians get rude and pissed off once in a while. You bet.

But then there are the good things about Toronto’s rapid expansion, too. I guess. But don’t you dare compare us to Chicago.

I’m not sure if Torontonians are ‘for’ or ‘against’ growth of the city’s infrastructure and high rises overall, but I do know that a recent rendition of what the cityscape will look like by 2020 made me wonder if all this growing would be okay if it wasn’t happening in one, big spurt.

I personally don’t like the spurt we’re in, but I live here. So I choose to go with the flow rather than against it and embrace the things that are available to me anyway: good restaurants, good theater, good libraries and did I mention the restaurants?

“Toronto: Come eat here!”

That should be our next city bumper sticker.

-sandy.

(image)

Work-for-free Opportunities in Journalism: beware or get with it?

Feathers have been rustled in the world of freelance writing once again. Have you heard?

It started with this blog post by freelance journalist, Nate Thayer, venting about the exchange between himself and an editor at The Atlantic .

In summary, The Atlantic contacted Thayer to republish one of his articles on their website…..for no money. They told him he’d get publicity, he told them to fuck off.

The editor cited “no budget” – a common theme for freelancers – and so Thayer let the editor have it, via email. He then published the whole email exchange to his blog, including the editor’s name.

The so-called controversy has been all over the Internet, and I’m glad. These conversations need to happen. They may not solve the issues, but they need to be had. Journalists are feeling a little more than lost these days, not to mention pissed off. And, even after 10 years as a full-time writer, I’m still considered one of the “new guys” on the block, so I can only imagine the frustration of life-long journalists dealing with how the Internet has both helped and hurt the industry in equal measure.

To the young writer-hopeful just coming up, the landscape of journalism can feel grim. Like standing at big gates with no one around to let you in. You feel locked out.

Well, you know what? No one is going to let you in. I’ve been there at those gates and no one came to open the door. But remember: there is no one standing there. So maybe think about how to use that to your advantage and let yourself in instead.

There is no magic course to take on being a writer or a journalist. There is no number of internships that will get you where you want to be. There is also no newspaper or magazine salary that will sustain you, because the average income of even a full-time writer or editor at a paper is less than the starting salary of a graduate fresh out of school.

So maybe the real question is: what’s the value of intellectual capital today?

I really just don’t know. But I negotiate it myself everyday, every time I make a pitch or sell a story, and maybe that’s what journalism needs to include more of – not a free market, but a more open one, where ideas and storytelling are subjective in price, but not free of charge.

I remember having one of my own pieces republished years ago. I was paid $500 for the republish, which blew my mind at the time. I had just started my freelance career and hadn’t graduated school yet. To be compensated for an article I’d already written and had previously published felt like a some sort of sign that I should keep going and become a journalist. I was hooked.

It’s been an up and down road since then. Some years have been stellar for business, while others have been rough-going. To be honest, if I could go back, I wouldn’t undo it. But I sure wish I knew what I did with that $500. I would surely use it to grease the person standing on the other side of that gate.

-sandy.

O Povo! Lisboa

My first protest was at age 18. It was marvelous. The energy, the people, the intention. It stirred me.

“Claim our bodies/Claim our rights/Take a stand/TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!”

That was the chant. That was the cause.

You don’t have to have been a victim of the problem to be a proponent of the solution. I learned that back then, and I stand by it now.

That is why I’ll be at “The Power to the People” protest today here in Lisbon, even though I come from a first-world country. That doesn’t mean I can be a passive bystander. It’s just not me.

The protest is against Troika, which is affecting the EU and the world at large. It can be read about here, via the Telegraph.

An ocean can’t divide our problems any longer.

-sandy.

EU bans use of animal-tested cosmetics, win!

Via the bright and fashionable blog, “I Want I Got” (authored by Anita, from my hometown, Toronto) the following news was posted recently and I was very happy about it. Since I’m sitting right smack on the edge of the EU right now, I found this especially important to share. Oh and, ah-hem, Canada, are you listening? Get with the program on this subject already and update our laws…..!

(direct quote from I Want, I Got):

“The end is nigh—for animal testing, that is. Starting March 11, the European Union will ban the import and sale of new cosmetic products that were either tested on animals or contain ingredients that were tested on animals. The ban, which has been in the works since 2009, is the result of decades of campaigning from animal-rights campaigners, including Anita Roddick, the late founder of The Body Shop, who joined members of the European Coalition to End Animal Experiments in 1996 to present the European Commission with a petition containing 4 million signatures denouncing the practice. The new regulations will apply to all personal-care products and toiletries, no matter how luxury or quotidian, from wrinkle cream to toothpaste.”

Right-the-f*ck-on.

-sandy.

 

 

(image source)

Stay-at-home-moms leading the fourth wave of feminism?

I wish I could take credit for finding this article in MacLean’s magazine, about Dutch women and part-time work and motherhood. But, as usual, I can’t. This one is courtesy of a post by a favorite blogger of mine, whose recent post titled, “How to pick a husband if you want to have kids” raises some important questions women should ask themselves, young or not-so-young.

Here’s my favorite quote from the MacLean’s piece (2011):

…“Dutch women do not aspire to top positions because they do not want to encourage the values of the business models of today’s world. It is a silent resistance movement,” she says. “Maybe this will turn out to be the fourth wave of feminism. Women protect the possibility that one day we’ll wake up to realize that life is not all about acquiring more material wealth, power, status. Many Dutch women that I know want to stay sane, happy, relaxed.”

Happy AND relaxed? How novel.

-sandy.

(p.s. – happy new year and thank you for reading my blog in 2012!)

Unbaby.me

Although I think the comments from hipster blogger, Andrea Bartz are a bit off at first, the second part of her comment makes sense: being a hipster is all about indulging in the far reaches of our boy or girlhood, re-living in the past and reliving youth.

“I think the reason that hipsters don’t like babies is that babies are the ultimate symbol that you’ve settled down,” she said…It means you reached this new echelon of adulthood,” [Bartz] added. “And I think hipsterdom is marked by extended adolescence.”

Hm, isn’t living in the past a bit dangerous for the soul? I’ve heard that somewhere, I’m sure of it.

Anyway, the article Bartz’s comment appears in is about a new Facebook app, “UnBaby.me”, which keeps photos of other people’s kids off your Facebook feed.

Will I use it? To be determined….

-sandy.

(first alerted to nyt article via Cup of Jo)

How money makes us less human.

“Earlier this year, Piff, who is 30, published a paper in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that made him semi-famous. Titled “Higher Social Class Predicts Increased Unethical Behavior,” it showed through quizzes, online games, questionnaires, in-lab manipulations, and field studies that living high on the socioeconomic ladder can, colloquially speaking, dehumanize people. It can make them less ethical, more selfish, more insular, and less compassionate than other people. It can make them more likely, as Piff demonstrated in one of his experiments, to take candy from a bowl of sweets designated for children. “While having money doesn’t necessarily make anybody anything,” Piff says, “the rich are way more likely to prioritize their own self-interests above the interests of other people. It makes them more likely to exhibit characteristics that we would stereotypically associate with, say, assholes.”

(via Penelope’s Trunk’s blog, an excerpt from New York Magazine article, “The Money-Empathy Gap“)